“Ocean” is the prompt from Sweetest in the Gale (formerly Fledgling Poet) at One Single Impression.
Seaside, Oregon 2009
I have been reading Jane Reichhold’s Writing and Enjoying Haiku this summer. It’s been my summer book study over at “Check It Out”. Just so happens that I revised this haiku originally posted in 2007.
foamy ocean waves
lace pattern on wet sand
crab scuttles alone
Revision 1:
ocean crochet
solitary crab scuttles
ebb tide remnant
Revision 2:
solitary crab scuttles
over foamy crochet
ebb tide remnant
To read about my revision process, visit here. And be sure to visit others take on “ocean” at One Single Impression.
5 responses so far ↓
SandyCarlson // August 15, 2009 at 1:31 am |
I sure do like that first one. Thanks for joining us.
macrush53 // August 15, 2009 at 1:45 am |
It is funny how switching two lines changes the tone.
Gemma // August 15, 2009 at 12:22 pm |
I love how these haikus evolve! They are like weaving a project till the final design of the fabric is complete!
sassysezzy // August 16, 2009 at 8:14 am |
It’s great to see how this has evolved!
You might be interested in:
http://poetryprompt.wordpress.com/
Marilyn // August 17, 2009 at 11:31 pm |
Gorgeous picture and words, my favorite subject.